Unfortunately, my Dostoevsky perusal mission has resulted in a failure as I was sufficiently distracted with other texts such as: The Virgin Suicides, Howl’s Moving Castle and Breaking Dawn. The Virgin Suicides was excellent and I was delightedly shocked to recognise the term ‘fin-de-siecle’ in there, also highly intrigued by the perspective the novel is written in. Howl’s Moving Castle is like any other folkloric fantasy novel and Breaking Dawn became an addiction, I couldn’t put it down, I almost cried, laughed many times and thoroughly enjoyed it. Although it was written like a bloody piece of good indulgent fanfiction, I think that’s why it was enjoyable. I am also okay with Jacob now, I like him. That’s sacrilege, I know as almost a year ago I wanted to slaughter that mutt, now he’s like the likeable cousin because he released Bella and imprinted on Renesmee. Renesmee. Seriously. Meyer! Demonstrate some creativity please!
Goodness, I’ve developed a ridiculous tangent. My apologies, I digress. I am not blogging today to discuss books. When one has six days without school or exams, aside from reading, one suddenly obtains a ridiculous stretch of time in which to think. When you’re me, you think superfluously. I think I think too much. Even now, I’m over-thinking things. Anyway, yes, I was thinking extensively, and also had a huge chunk of time to cultivate quixotic emotions especially when one reads a novel such as Breaking Dawn. (Honestly, boys, adopt Twilight as your female BIBLE and Edward Cullen as your heathen-god leader.) Coalesced with such rumination I have delivered myself to the onset of an unhealthy, festering inferiority complex. I won’t indulge in such inferiority complex, I believe, well, I hope I am more intelligent than that self-flagellation. Life’s a bitch like that, but what can one do but eat one’s own damn lemons? Other than making them into lemonade and selling it for fifty-cents a cup, of course (just the mark of my metaphorical thinking in line with our capitalist society).
Quixotic emotions, limerence and lime, inferiority complex? Who else could I be referring to, but him of course? Built in or programmed into the female psyche is the ridiculous tendency to analyse things. It’s brilliant when one is in an English class, but disastrous, stressful and arduous when such analytical ability is immediately (and unfortunately instinctively) utilised in the courting arena. So we play the courting game. I’ve decided to blog and document everything relevant I possibly can from the moment I met him. I need this cathartic release. He’s dominating my thoughts and that won’t do. I will not accept that. I am an independent woman whose mind does not require subjugation by the dominion of a guy, well, man, really. I’m hoping that releasing these thoughts and ponderings from my system will reduce the thoughts of him swimming around my head.
Him. That’s all I’ll dare refer to him as. Him. He’s something beyond comprehension. You really know how to pick’em Dana. Really. Why couldn’t choose someone a little less, unattainable? A little closer to this planet? A little more in my own world, a little more convenient, less far beyond my league? Sometimes I think that this can only end in heartache. This isn’t about ‘the thrill of the chase’ either. I’d rather that there BE NO CHASE. I wish life were as simple as imprinting. Sure, by human nature, the forbidden is exciting and alluring. It’s arousing and intoxicating. Why do you think I love DHr fanfiction so much? The temptation of the forbidden, of the unattainable is potent and carnal, regressing us back to our childhood needs and desires where rumination was not so deep, but rather instinctual. It’s pure pleasure and pain. I see that. It’s beautiful in its complexity but honestly, why can’t things just be bloody SIMPLE? On second thought, he isn’t exactly ‘forbidden,’ is he? Just highly unattainable. Believe you me I am receiving no ‘high’ off this stupid chase. I’d rather he be mine already.
But I’m not so much like that. I know me, and sure, I’m human I’m ridiculously selfish at times. Yet when it concerns romantic love, I am all giving. It’s all or nothing with me, I will bare my soul to them. I would do anything for that person and that’s a fact. (Remember the newspaper run?) If he says ‘no,’ or ‘sorry’ – however he may phrase it – I would accept it immediately and leave it at that, be his friend and pretend such feelings never took root in my heart and smile warmly, laugh pleasantly and support him when he does decide to chase the girl of his dreams. Because that’s what love does to me. Oh well, I can’t say I’m ‘in love’ with him, just highly infatuated. Despite my feminist beliefs, I am granting him liberty and free reign over our relationship and he doesn’t even KNOW it. I really wish I didn’t feel this way. But why does he have to be so damn wonderful?
This is why I only wanted to be his friend primordially. From the beginning I only wanted to be his friend despite the fact that I knew I liked him deeply, because what am I to expect from the unattainable? I can only expect nothing and everything from him. I want to expect nothing from him and am schooling myself to expect nothing from him because I am aware that my feelings are not reciprocated, this is unrequited, as always. Expecting anything would lead to unbounding disappointment. He already failed twice to meet me, so I’m quite sure I should expect nothing from him. But how can I expect less than everything from someone so beyond anyone I have ever met? How can I expect nothing less than everything from the boy who is so much more a man than all the guys I know put together? How can I tell myself to treat him platonically and expect nothing from someone so wonderful and awe-inspiring? HOW?
Such is my predicament. But I’ll concede, that since I’ve been attempting to change my mindset, I’ve relaxed around him. I’m trying more now than ever to be myself. The other day he informed me that he made it to the debating finals - that was brilliant, excellent and wonderful. It just made me like him even more, I am so proud of him and yet selfishly wish to live my would-be debating glory vicariously through his success. I must attend the finals, and so I began perusing their school website for the date (result was a fail) but discovered, shockingly, a section of the site totally dedicated to him where they promulgated his success as if he were the risen Messiah. I was shocked, awed, and also felt like some idiotic fan girl wowing at his celebrity status. Nevertheless, I could feel an inferiority complex stirring from within me. He had all these other girls at his fingertips, ready and willing to be with him. They were of the same social class, status, education and proximity, who attended the same events with the same interests. They are, dare I say it, compatible in every single way. What would I bring to the table? I have no idea.
I know I’m not going to go on this self-flagellating guilt trip. I’m not going to wallow in self-pity or doubt. That’s highly unattractive and counter-productive when I’m trying to better myself. LOL I feel like Bella when she’s around Edward. Only the envy doesn’t arise from the physical. I know that I must be thankful for at least knowing him personally, this much, anyway. I am thankful for God granting me the gift, the miracle even, of me knowing him at least. He makes me humble myself, but also he instigates this passion and drive within me to reach for my goals NOW. I’ll be eternally grateful to him for that.
The disappointing factor introduces itself when I realise that I’m not a priority in his life. I’m not a priority, I’m probably a good, reliable friend who he can flirt with. There’s potential there but considering the way his priorities are arranged, relationships are far from his mind. In expecting nothing from him, that fact is slowly taking residence in my brain and I’m slowly accepting it. Of course I’ll go on liking him, it’s fun, and I’ll enjoy the solitary honeymoon high while it’s still happening, but as much as I want to wish for it, I doubt I’ll get with him. There’s always hope though :P But I keep my emotions in check like I have a personal Jasper and I make sure that I don’t hope too much.
Wow, I can still remember the first time I ever saw him. Vividly. He entered the room and whoosh, suddenly his presence was filling it. When he began talking I was scared shitless, I knew immediately that Stef was going to lose. He awed me, I never knew any one remotely like him. He was amazing, in true form. Physically, I thought he was quite handsome, although someone I’d never personally go for, he was too unattainable, nothing would amount from it even if by some stretch of the imagination I managed to talk to him. He wowed me. I left their school happy and blushing. He was amazing. I memorised his name immediately. Of course, this is the abridged version.
I’ll continue this blog later. I’ll vlog the rest. I think I’ll be able to document it better that way.
But this was good release.
Until next time –
- Deeh xoxox
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Monday, 25 August 2008
What am I to You?
Thinking about him depresses me.
This, basically epitomises what I'm feeling right now.
What am I to You? - Norah Jones
What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue
When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so
If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies
I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you
The worst thing is, is that I think I may already know the answer to that question - and I know I don't like it.
Well, it could be worse.
He could be... urgh, no. I won't go there.
This, basically epitomises what I'm feeling right now.
What am I to You? - Norah Jones
What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue
When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so
If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball
When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies
I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you
The worst thing is, is that I think I may already know the answer to that question - and I know I don't like it.
Well, it could be worse.
He could be... urgh, no. I won't go there.
Friday, 22 August 2008
How Charming.
Oh how charming is this.
My week, which had commenced with utter euphoria, has gone TO HELL.
Hello Dante, I think I may be living in your inferno, how's that for Divine Comedy?
I should stop the depresssing puns.
I mean it's just been the accumulation of events and shitty weather and my PMS. Urgh.
Okay, so let's get Mr. Political Cognoscenti out of the way. Firstly, it does concern me that one of the brightest political minds of our generation is about AS DENSE AS A BLACK HOLE! OR:
a) he really is simply that dense.
b)He's lazy.
c)He's scared of taking a risk
or d) (and perhaps the most probable of all) he simply DOES. NOT. LIKE. ME.
Then, why, may I ask, all the flirting?
Urgh. I'm up against T's School Captain here! I am no competition whatsoever. urgh. So depressing. And isn't it lovely how they MATCH?? ggr. I mean seriously, if YOU HAD SPORTING COMMITMENTS WHY KEEP UP the pretence?
Meh I'm tired. I've lost my flair for blogging.
The Murray goes and scoffs at me with her condescension.
Go fuck a whale.
Go to Japan, get skewered and be fed to populace.
My week, which had commenced with utter euphoria, has gone TO HELL.
Hello Dante, I think I may be living in your inferno, how's that for Divine Comedy?
I should stop the depresssing puns.
I mean it's just been the accumulation of events and shitty weather and my PMS. Urgh.
Okay, so let's get Mr. Political Cognoscenti out of the way. Firstly, it does concern me that one of the brightest political minds of our generation is about AS DENSE AS A BLACK HOLE! OR:
a) he really is simply that dense.
b)He's lazy.
c)He's scared of taking a risk
or d) (and perhaps the most probable of all) he simply DOES. NOT. LIKE. ME.
Then, why, may I ask, all the flirting?
Urgh. I'm up against T's School Captain here! I am no competition whatsoever. urgh. So depressing. And isn't it lovely how they MATCH?? ggr. I mean seriously, if YOU HAD SPORTING COMMITMENTS WHY KEEP UP the pretence?
Meh I'm tired. I've lost my flair for blogging.
The Murray goes and scoffs at me with her condescension.
Go fuck a whale.
Go to Japan, get skewered and be fed to populace.
POST-TRIAL Euphoria
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
POST-TRIAL euphoria =D
Current mood: vibrant
Category: Writing and Poetry
Aaah post-exam euphoria is the BEST thing...
I'd never sully myself with illicit substances, however I do estimate that the feeling that I am experiencing at the moment emulates an LSD experience. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds..." and I'm even breaking out into song... with the Beatles. Ok. Moving on. LOL I am very relaxed at the moment, and rather giddy. Ever fed a child approximately the entire Switzerland's worth of chocolate?
It's like that.
If you haven't, well I would supplement a video of Louie after having consumed a glass of pure, unadulterated, undiluted red cordial. Believe you me the effects were both disastrous and entertaining. Imagine a child spring up suddenly and start running in a circle. Screaming. For about five minutes. Straight. The video is on my phone, and my phone is still being the paragon of technological malfunction after I dropped it in the shower the other week. Yes, I'm highly aware of how bizarre that appears. In a way, that makes me seem like an idiotic freak that uses their phone in the shower. No, I shall explain. In a nutshell, being the consistent person that I am who places upon the highest pedestal the virtue of punctuality - I like to know how long my showers are. Ergo I habitually check the time when I'm in there – by use of my phone. It's also my bid for the environment and our steadily depleting water supply.
Wow, ok, that was a major tangent.
I'll begin with the exam today. It was highly improved in comparison to yesterday's sordid affair. Area of Study I think was hitherto the major stuff (insert more colourful language) up of my life. I died a little inside having to BUTCHER, masticate and by way of inky projectile vomit produce a bloody 'Letter to the Editor' that both conformed to the damn criteria and somehow bore some resemblance to my original pre-written short story.
It was both painful and grotesque.
Out of 15, I do believe that I'd receive somewhere around a 5. I can simply envision Grumble or Rubello seating themselves cosily in the second-level staffroom, easing themselves into a Godfather-esque wing-chair adjacent to toasty/roaring fireplace (not that we have one of those in the staffroom lol, that is entirely secret faculty domain – so clandestine in fact that I think they conduct occult ceremonies in there – I jest) and positively itching with anticipation as they eye my exam paper with burgeoning interest. Voraciously, their eyes rove over the student number and downwards as they begin reading my pile of meaningless crap. This is where the scotch comes in. And of course the scotch comes in. You NEED SCOTCH to complete the scene. Not to mention I do believe that my English teachers would undoubtedly saturate themselves with liquid luck when they discover that their best student, whom of which they had invested such hope in, stumbled upon an astronomically epic FAIL in her HSC Trial Exam.
At least it was the Trial and not the actual HSC. If it were the HSC, a blunder like that would require Absinthe - or a trip across the road to Westmead Hospital's psyche ward.
Would you believe that whilst traversing to Japanese, Miss approaches me right with, "Dana! How'd you find the exam?"
I hesitated and pondered a diplomatic answer, "...enjoyable. I laughed when I read that we had to write a radio interview transcript, I had fun with that."
"Ah yes, we went through it in class, I'm glad. Er, were you in that class when I said 'Aw they'd never give you a 'Letter to the Editor?'" She asked bashfully. It took all my eye-muscle strength NOT to glare at her.
"Yes Miss. Indeed I was."
"I'm so sorry, I told you that and I can't believe that you got one yesterday – I'm so sorry I had no idea."
"Haha that's okay, although when I looked at the question, all I wanted to do was cry."
At least she apologised. That's more than I can ask for. Meanwhile, I'll keep exhausting the dictionary of its epithets every time Grumble decides to pop into my peripheral vision. Don't think that would make a very pleasant homeroom period every morning.
The critical analysis of inner-journey itself was... interesting – 'okay' at best. I didn't integrate as smoothly as I initially intended due to time constraints but I answered the question. My hand couldn't write bloody fast enough. I've discovered my limit – five pages in forty-minutes. That's it, so in comparison to those who like to write eight, my work has to be QUALITY over QUANTITY. I had to sacrifice three paragraphs of my initial essay. Damn. I really liked those paragraphs. Okay, lol I'm working myself up into a fit – it's not like someone DIED lol. Regardless, the Short Answer Comprehension was excellent, great texts in which I could harness my bullshitting prowess and have the audacity to call it 'analysis.' I am not concerned at all about that particular segment.
And today? Blade Runner/Brave New World – LOVED IT. The question was indeed challenging – but not impossible. I guess the only reason as to why I loved it is because I loved the texts lol. I adored Brave New World for all its ironic sci-fi-ness and it's dystopic appeal. Oh my word let me tell you about how much I LOVE utopic/dystopic fiction. It's like my bread and butter. Blade Runner, although initially I hadn't warmed to it, but after analysing it I can appreciate it for its warped beauty and of course its sci-fi! =D "More human than human." I love that quote. I'd love the song too, if only it didn't sound like there was a woman having sex with God knows who in the introduction of the song. King Lear was debatable. The question was a character question so it wasn't too difficult, just extensive.
'Telling the Truth' was about a major travesty as my 'Letter to the Editor' was. This time I attempted to incorporate more elements of the text type rather than simply giving it lip-service. I think in adhering to the text type, I MAJORLY sacrificed the quality of my analysis. =( At least I had fun with it. As previously mentioned, it was a radio transcript. Could they be any more ABSTRACT? But I was enjoying myself, thinking of songs to insert randomly. And since the Module was 'Telling the Truth,' I went with it.
[Insert song break here. Song: 'Confessions' – by Usher]
LOL. And when I finished my transcript:
[Fade into song here. Song: 'Don't Lie' – Black-Eyed-Peas]
Yeah, I had fun. Now I'm having fun listening to my VICTORY MUSIC! System of a Down! You'd think with my musical appreciation that System of A Down is entirely incongruous to what I usually listen to (jazz, classical, alternative etc.) But Dyanne is like my oracle of SOAD and, oh come on! Like Chop Suey isn't a victory song! I feel like moshing, or something. (Dyz I have fallen in love with that 'Revenga,' oh my word if System was on Guitar Hero I'd die. This afternoon I was giggling and laughing, I had felt the most elated than I have in a rather long time. I also learned 'Love Song' by Sara Bareilles on Piano, all I need to do is learn the lyrics. Very therapeutic.
But alas, I have homework to complete.
Until next time,
Dana xoxox
POST-TRIAL euphoria =D
Current mood: vibrant
Category: Writing and Poetry
Aaah post-exam euphoria is the BEST thing...
I'd never sully myself with illicit substances, however I do estimate that the feeling that I am experiencing at the moment emulates an LSD experience. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds..." and I'm even breaking out into song... with the Beatles. Ok. Moving on. LOL I am very relaxed at the moment, and rather giddy. Ever fed a child approximately the entire Switzerland's worth of chocolate?
It's like that.
If you haven't, well I would supplement a video of Louie after having consumed a glass of pure, unadulterated, undiluted red cordial. Believe you me the effects were both disastrous and entertaining. Imagine a child spring up suddenly and start running in a circle. Screaming. For about five minutes. Straight. The video is on my phone, and my phone is still being the paragon of technological malfunction after I dropped it in the shower the other week. Yes, I'm highly aware of how bizarre that appears. In a way, that makes me seem like an idiotic freak that uses their phone in the shower. No, I shall explain. In a nutshell, being the consistent person that I am who places upon the highest pedestal the virtue of punctuality - I like to know how long my showers are. Ergo I habitually check the time when I'm in there – by use of my phone. It's also my bid for the environment and our steadily depleting water supply.
Wow, ok, that was a major tangent.
I'll begin with the exam today. It was highly improved in comparison to yesterday's sordid affair. Area of Study I think was hitherto the major stuff (insert more colourful language) up of my life. I died a little inside having to BUTCHER, masticate and by way of inky projectile vomit produce a bloody 'Letter to the Editor' that both conformed to the damn criteria and somehow bore some resemblance to my original pre-written short story.
It was both painful and grotesque.
Out of 15, I do believe that I'd receive somewhere around a 5. I can simply envision Grumble or Rubello seating themselves cosily in the second-level staffroom, easing themselves into a Godfather-esque wing-chair adjacent to toasty/roaring fireplace (not that we have one of those in the staffroom lol, that is entirely secret faculty domain – so clandestine in fact that I think they conduct occult ceremonies in there – I jest) and positively itching with anticipation as they eye my exam paper with burgeoning interest. Voraciously, their eyes rove over the student number and downwards as they begin reading my pile of meaningless crap. This is where the scotch comes in. And of course the scotch comes in. You NEED SCOTCH to complete the scene. Not to mention I do believe that my English teachers would undoubtedly saturate themselves with liquid luck when they discover that their best student, whom of which they had invested such hope in, stumbled upon an astronomically epic FAIL in her HSC Trial Exam.
At least it was the Trial and not the actual HSC. If it were the HSC, a blunder like that would require Absinthe - or a trip across the road to Westmead Hospital's psyche ward.
Would you believe that whilst traversing to Japanese, Miss approaches me right with, "Dana! How'd you find the exam?"
I hesitated and pondered a diplomatic answer, "...enjoyable. I laughed when I read that we had to write a radio interview transcript, I had fun with that."
"Ah yes, we went through it in class, I'm glad. Er, were you in that class when I said 'Aw they'd never give you a 'Letter to the Editor?'" She asked bashfully. It took all my eye-muscle strength NOT to glare at her.
"Yes Miss. Indeed I was."
"I'm so sorry, I told you that and I can't believe that you got one yesterday – I'm so sorry I had no idea."
"Haha that's okay, although when I looked at the question, all I wanted to do was cry."
At least she apologised. That's more than I can ask for. Meanwhile, I'll keep exhausting the dictionary of its epithets every time Grumble decides to pop into my peripheral vision. Don't think that would make a very pleasant homeroom period every morning.
The critical analysis of inner-journey itself was... interesting – 'okay' at best. I didn't integrate as smoothly as I initially intended due to time constraints but I answered the question. My hand couldn't write bloody fast enough. I've discovered my limit – five pages in forty-minutes. That's it, so in comparison to those who like to write eight, my work has to be QUALITY over QUANTITY. I had to sacrifice three paragraphs of my initial essay. Damn. I really liked those paragraphs. Okay, lol I'm working myself up into a fit – it's not like someone DIED lol. Regardless, the Short Answer Comprehension was excellent, great texts in which I could harness my bullshitting prowess and have the audacity to call it 'analysis.' I am not concerned at all about that particular segment.
And today? Blade Runner/Brave New World – LOVED IT. The question was indeed challenging – but not impossible. I guess the only reason as to why I loved it is because I loved the texts lol. I adored Brave New World for all its ironic sci-fi-ness and it's dystopic appeal. Oh my word let me tell you about how much I LOVE utopic/dystopic fiction. It's like my bread and butter. Blade Runner, although initially I hadn't warmed to it, but after analysing it I can appreciate it for its warped beauty and of course its sci-fi! =D "More human than human." I love that quote. I'd love the song too, if only it didn't sound like there was a woman having sex with God knows who in the introduction of the song. King Lear was debatable. The question was a character question so it wasn't too difficult, just extensive.
'Telling the Truth' was about a major travesty as my 'Letter to the Editor' was. This time I attempted to incorporate more elements of the text type rather than simply giving it lip-service. I think in adhering to the text type, I MAJORLY sacrificed the quality of my analysis. =( At least I had fun with it. As previously mentioned, it was a radio transcript. Could they be any more ABSTRACT? But I was enjoying myself, thinking of songs to insert randomly. And since the Module was 'Telling the Truth,' I went with it.
[Insert song break here. Song: 'Confessions' – by Usher]
LOL. And when I finished my transcript:
[Fade into song here. Song: 'Don't Lie' – Black-Eyed-Peas]
Yeah, I had fun. Now I'm having fun listening to my VICTORY MUSIC! System of a Down! You'd think with my musical appreciation that System of A Down is entirely incongruous to what I usually listen to (jazz, classical, alternative etc.) But Dyanne is like my oracle of SOAD and, oh come on! Like Chop Suey isn't a victory song! I feel like moshing, or something. (Dyz I have fallen in love with that 'Revenga,' oh my word if System was on Guitar Hero I'd die. This afternoon I was giggling and laughing, I had felt the most elated than I have in a rather long time. I also learned 'Love Song' by Sara Bareilles on Piano, all I need to do is learn the lyrics. Very therapeutic.
But alas, I have homework to complete.
Until next time,
Dana xoxox
Politically Revolutionary Fiction is...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Political Revolutionary Fiction is...
Current mood: blah
Category: News and Politics
... highly intriguing.
I would like to proudly promulgate (ah, the damned alliteration), for both my own sense of satisfaction and vanity, that I have as of 30/07/08 11:10pm have alas finished reading 'Noli Me Tangere' by Jose Rizal.
After 63 Chapters, 278 external notes, several passages in Latin and innumerous shifts in writing tense, I have finally completed it.
It was rather compelling as I was reading along, although his unique literary style was something to grow accustomed to. The utterly theocratic system of Philippines at the time was interesting to both exploit and explore from a modernist perspective. It calls to mind Arthur Miller's 'The Crucible' and how McCarthyism was able to be manipulated allegorically within the theocracy of Puritan society. Having completed reading the novel, it is completely lucid to me as to why it was both banned and regarded as a subversive novel, and Rizal branded as a subvert.
SPEAKING OF SUBVERTING THE SYSTEM - Here's my random rant for the day! (LOL That sounded like a segment on Rove, most likely headed my Husey or Helliar) My illustrious, gargantuan 'educator' of Studies of Religion has completely undermined the leaders system. She's a complete subvert in terms of both our spiritual nourishment and the established paradigms of our school. Excuse my plebeian use of the 'Harry Potter' analogy, but that woman is uncannily like Professor Umbridge, so much to the point that it's freaking scary. The similarities are striking, indeed. Many a member of my religion class have vehemently expressed their desires to resort to violence and 'shoot' her.
I do believe that the correct verb would be 'harpoon.'
Despite my human/environmental rights tendencies, I've discovered that Japan has alas a legitimate reason to continue whaling.
Ok. That was highly malicious. My apologies.
But Dyanne. I know you totally would have laughed.
Oh my word. I just had a thought. I could have used 'The Crucible' and 'Noli Me Tangere' as additional material together! Shaizer! I could have! It's a shame, really. A multitude of lazy people are using 'The Crucible.' But. But. 'The Crucible' and 'The Noli' fit like hand to glove! Hmm... it'll be ok. I have my political cartoons. Yet honestly, just imagine, what a politically analytical essay that would have been!
Political Revolutionary Fiction is...
Current mood: blah
Category: News and Politics
... highly intriguing.
I would like to proudly promulgate (ah, the damned alliteration), for both my own sense of satisfaction and vanity, that I have as of 30/07/08 11:10pm have alas finished reading 'Noli Me Tangere' by Jose Rizal.
After 63 Chapters, 278 external notes, several passages in Latin and innumerous shifts in writing tense, I have finally completed it.
It was rather compelling as I was reading along, although his unique literary style was something to grow accustomed to. The utterly theocratic system of Philippines at the time was interesting to both exploit and explore from a modernist perspective. It calls to mind Arthur Miller's 'The Crucible' and how McCarthyism was able to be manipulated allegorically within the theocracy of Puritan society. Having completed reading the novel, it is completely lucid to me as to why it was both banned and regarded as a subversive novel, and Rizal branded as a subvert.
SPEAKING OF SUBVERTING THE SYSTEM - Here's my random rant for the day! (LOL That sounded like a segment on Rove, most likely headed my Husey or Helliar) My illustrious, gargantuan 'educator' of Studies of Religion has completely undermined the leaders system. She's a complete subvert in terms of both our spiritual nourishment and the established paradigms of our school. Excuse my plebeian use of the 'Harry Potter' analogy, but that woman is uncannily like Professor Umbridge, so much to the point that it's freaking scary. The similarities are striking, indeed. Many a member of my religion class have vehemently expressed their desires to resort to violence and 'shoot' her.
I do believe that the correct verb would be 'harpoon.'
Despite my human/environmental rights tendencies, I've discovered that Japan has alas a legitimate reason to continue whaling.
Ok. That was highly malicious. My apologies.
But Dyanne. I know you totally would have laughed.
Oh my word. I just had a thought. I could have used 'The Crucible' and 'Noli Me Tangere' as additional material together! Shaizer! I could have! It's a shame, really. A multitude of lazy people are using 'The Crucible.' But. But. 'The Crucible' and 'The Noli' fit like hand to glove! Hmm... it'll be ok. I have my political cartoons. Yet honestly, just imagine, what a politically analytical essay that would have been!
WYD Day 5 and 6
Thursday, July 31, 2008
WYD Day 5 and 6
Current mood: anxious
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Ok. I've typed half of my account up for this. It's all on a word document and will be up here soon. At the moment I,
a) Generally can't be bothered
and
b) HAVE ENGLISH HSC TRIALS TO IMMERSE MYSELF WITH!!!!!!!
So blogging is of course, approximately fourth priority in terms of Trials, other schoolwork and Parish Newsletter writing/editing.
However, because I do enjoy and prefer to have things in concise chronological order, this notice is simply in here so I am able to permit myself to blog continuously without feeling any sense of obsessive/compulsive guilt at my lack of chronological- correctness. For now, I bid thee adieu and return to the troglodytical disposition I like to call 'intense study time.'
WYD Day 5 and 6
Current mood: anxious
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Ok. I've typed half of my account up for this. It's all on a word document and will be up here soon. At the moment I,
a) Generally can't be bothered
and
b) HAVE ENGLISH HSC TRIALS TO IMMERSE MYSELF WITH!!!!!!!
So blogging is of course, approximately fourth priority in terms of Trials, other schoolwork and Parish Newsletter writing/editing.
However, because I do enjoy and prefer to have things in concise chronological order, this notice is simply in here so I am able to permit myself to blog continuously without feeling any sense of obsessive/compulsive guilt at my lack of chronological- correctness. For now, I bid thee adieu and return to the troglodytical disposition I like to call 'intense study time.'
WYD Day 4
Saturday, July 19, 2008
WYD Day 4
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Religion and Philosophy
CHRISTIAN MOSHPITS are the best way to meet people. xD
Today I brought my Camera! I made up for lost time and began taking photos like mad, and took photos with new friends and almost everyone I randomly hugged. It was the Stations of the Cross today and once again we were designated an area where both our vision and aural clarity were obscured with incovenient placement of both screens and speakers. Ergo, the youth group didn't really absorb or engage themselves with the actual Stations of the Cross. It was a shame though, and I was also quite disappointed in myself for being too sleepy. I fell asleep on the floor and on Veronica's shoulder during the commencement of it. When I woke up I realised that they had only accomplished one station, which wasn't too bad I guess. The acting was beautiful though, great acting and I managed to acquire some close up shots of the action. Usually I'd sleep on the way from Blacktown to Central, but today Tim came with us. Of course, when Tim's around - life's a party. Him and his excellent ear were able to grasp that Croatian Alleluia so of course our youth group adopted that "ALLELUUUUIIAAAAAA!!!" with relentless zeal. We sang it all the way to Central, even contriving our own lyrics LOL. "Paulie is dry!!!! PAULIE IS DRY!" Dry. The word of the day. "Dry" according to Jhunlee and Joan, means "Lame." It was an incredible start to the day.
Oh and I gave my question to the Bishop this morning! He didn't answer it correctly though - he wrote off my question merely as a question of semantics and linguistics more so than the revolution of religion. For those of you wondering, Tim and I had this COLOSSAL fight over theology and Catholicism a few weeks ago (I had never been more insulted in my whole life) about whether changing the lyrics and passages in the Bible from "HIM" to "GOD" really mattered. I said that it made God more relatable, more generic and equal for women rather than permeating the Bible with patriarchal undertones. Tim's argument was, was that it was changing religion to suit the person, not the person conforming and rising to the challenges of their religion. It is a valid argument, I understand. But honestly "HIM" to "GOD" is not a massive thing. It's just semantics. My query to the Bishop was, 'What is the Church's stance on those specific alterations in this century, is it merely giving concession or accomodating for the rise in feminism, or the New Age concept of God as an entity rather than a person?' He didn't answer it, I'm afraid, so alas it is one again unreconciled. Doesn't matter really, I'm not too bothered by it these days. There were other excellent questions such as, 'How do we reconcile 'Free Will' and Predestination?'
I saw heaps of people today from school. All you Rooty Hill YFC people! LOL I'm hugging Mary, MJ, Anne, Kaye and as Anne walks by she's like "Have you finished the Maths Assignment yet?"
"NOPE! Questions 1 a) and b)"
"HI-FIVE!"
The concert was excellent though.As I said, Christian Moshpits are so funny! This whole group of guys walked passed and they were discussing starting a chant. This guy's like "I say, "How Long?" and you say "Too Long!"" so they decided to practice and the leader was like, "How Long?!" nobody answered, so I yelled randomly in passing, "TOO LONG!" They all cracked up, and cheered, giving me Hi-fives! xD They finally got Hillsong to play - with music we actually KNEW. LOL Everyone was moshing to "One Way Jesus." I love that song. You could scream it out at the top of your lungs and you'd still sound in melody and time. It awesome dancing and talking to people along the way, forming a massive Conga Line of the youth group and this guy was like "When does it end???" They also had a drama going on with Lifehouse's "Everything" playing in the background. I LOVE THAT SONG. Too bad no one around me knew it, so I was there singing passionately and Michael is like "HOW DO YOU KNOW THE LYRICS???" I must say, the drama was EXCELLENT. So I'm a corny, romantic, puddle of mush inside, and I almost cried. Yes. I'll admit to that. I became emotional. In my defence, I'll say that my faith is an integral part of me. We couldn't stay for the rest of the concert though, if we wanted to be home before 12, we had to leave. On the train - another party! We sang that Croatian Alleluia once again (I pitied the commuters), all the guys lost their voice and we finally created an OASIS chant. We sang so many songs and "This little light" went on for a century and a half.
It was an awesome night! Awesome experiences. Very cold though. Toni was clinging to me in desperation. She was hugging me so tightly for warmth that people began to think we were lesbian. No, lol we were just freezing. But Toni is PERFECT hugging height - not to mention heaps of people there have awesome hugs! Took heaps of photos, will upload soon. But I must go, I have to pack my bag for tomorrow - sleeping under the stars!!! WOO! I'm so excited! But the ten km walk with all my stuff? Not so much. But it's for my faith, I must remind myself. I also need to get a decent sleep for once! Especially since tomorrow will be a LOOONG DAY.
Goodnight!! :)
Dana XOXOXOXOX
WYD Day 4
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Religion and Philosophy
CHRISTIAN MOSHPITS are the best way to meet people. xD
Today I brought my Camera! I made up for lost time and began taking photos like mad, and took photos with new friends and almost everyone I randomly hugged. It was the Stations of the Cross today and once again we were designated an area where both our vision and aural clarity were obscured with incovenient placement of both screens and speakers. Ergo, the youth group didn't really absorb or engage themselves with the actual Stations of the Cross. It was a shame though, and I was also quite disappointed in myself for being too sleepy. I fell asleep on the floor and on Veronica's shoulder during the commencement of it. When I woke up I realised that they had only accomplished one station, which wasn't too bad I guess. The acting was beautiful though, great acting and I managed to acquire some close up shots of the action. Usually I'd sleep on the way from Blacktown to Central, but today Tim came with us. Of course, when Tim's around - life's a party. Him and his excellent ear were able to grasp that Croatian Alleluia so of course our youth group adopted that "ALLELUUUUIIAAAAAA!!!" with relentless zeal. We sang it all the way to Central, even contriving our own lyrics LOL. "Paulie is dry!!!! PAULIE IS DRY!" Dry. The word of the day. "Dry" according to Jhunlee and Joan, means "Lame." It was an incredible start to the day.
Oh and I gave my question to the Bishop this morning! He didn't answer it correctly though - he wrote off my question merely as a question of semantics and linguistics more so than the revolution of religion. For those of you wondering, Tim and I had this COLOSSAL fight over theology and Catholicism a few weeks ago (I had never been more insulted in my whole life) about whether changing the lyrics and passages in the Bible from "HIM" to "GOD" really mattered. I said that it made God more relatable, more generic and equal for women rather than permeating the Bible with patriarchal undertones. Tim's argument was, was that it was changing religion to suit the person, not the person conforming and rising to the challenges of their religion. It is a valid argument, I understand. But honestly "HIM" to "GOD" is not a massive thing. It's just semantics. My query to the Bishop was, 'What is the Church's stance on those specific alterations in this century, is it merely giving concession or accomodating for the rise in feminism, or the New Age concept of God as an entity rather than a person?' He didn't answer it, I'm afraid, so alas it is one again unreconciled. Doesn't matter really, I'm not too bothered by it these days. There were other excellent questions such as, 'How do we reconcile 'Free Will' and Predestination?'
I saw heaps of people today from school. All you Rooty Hill YFC people! LOL I'm hugging Mary, MJ, Anne, Kaye and as Anne walks by she's like "Have you finished the Maths Assignment yet?"
"NOPE! Questions 1 a) and b)"
"HI-FIVE!"
The concert was excellent though.As I said, Christian Moshpits are so funny! This whole group of guys walked passed and they were discussing starting a chant. This guy's like "I say, "How Long?" and you say "Too Long!"" so they decided to practice and the leader was like, "How Long?!" nobody answered, so I yelled randomly in passing, "TOO LONG!" They all cracked up, and cheered, giving me Hi-fives! xD They finally got Hillsong to play - with music we actually KNEW. LOL Everyone was moshing to "One Way Jesus." I love that song. You could scream it out at the top of your lungs and you'd still sound in melody and time. It awesome dancing and talking to people along the way, forming a massive Conga Line of the youth group and this guy was like "When does it end???" They also had a drama going on with Lifehouse's "Everything" playing in the background. I LOVE THAT SONG. Too bad no one around me knew it, so I was there singing passionately and Michael is like "HOW DO YOU KNOW THE LYRICS???" I must say, the drama was EXCELLENT. So I'm a corny, romantic, puddle of mush inside, and I almost cried. Yes. I'll admit to that. I became emotional. In my defence, I'll say that my faith is an integral part of me. We couldn't stay for the rest of the concert though, if we wanted to be home before 12, we had to leave. On the train - another party! We sang that Croatian Alleluia once again (I pitied the commuters), all the guys lost their voice and we finally created an OASIS chant. We sang so many songs and "This little light" went on for a century and a half.
It was an awesome night! Awesome experiences. Very cold though. Toni was clinging to me in desperation. She was hugging me so tightly for warmth that people began to think we were lesbian. No, lol we were just freezing. But Toni is PERFECT hugging height - not to mention heaps of people there have awesome hugs! Took heaps of photos, will upload soon. But I must go, I have to pack my bag for tomorrow - sleeping under the stars!!! WOO! I'm so excited! But the ten km walk with all my stuff? Not so much. But it's for my faith, I must remind myself. I also need to get a decent sleep for once! Especially since tomorrow will be a LOOONG DAY.
Goodnight!! :)
Dana XOXOXOXOX
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