4:48am supervising inebriated teens. Joy.

This was taken from my Myspace Blog. I know. A rarity.

Hello, if you're actually reading this then wow, welcome to my life. This is how my fruitful ANZAC Day transpired.

If you're still reading, congratulations.

I am currently bored out of my mind here, the fact that I'm using my 'Myspace' Blog is evidence of that. This is seriously unhealthy and transforming me into a nocturnal creature but I gave my word to my mother that I'd supervise them downstairs, provide plastic bags and tupperware if they require a place to project their spew into or tissues, or money for cabs. Why do I, barely 16, currently need to supervise a bunch of 18/19 year olds?

It was Tim's 18th birthday bash. Yay. I was bracing myself for this, as were my parents, and we had incredibly valid reason to. Tim's quite the popular guy, you see. Very popular. Earlier my backyard was transformed into the epitome of teenage partying and all manner of adolescent horror. It was Absinthe, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Black label, Smirnoff, Absolut galore! Hmm, terrifying. Now I'm disputing anything against alcohol, I mean sure, it's a social lubricant, it instigates the party - oh whoops there Tim goes again - I better check on him, make sure he doesn't choke on his own... stomach content. Back, and the guys downstairs wanted cereal. Odd. It's 5am, nice and early breakfast. Anyway, I digress, as I was saying. The backyard turned into a nightclub - I am quite serious - could you blame them though? The DJ was awesome. Tim went out frequently to buy drinks etc. pick up people.

The girls were the first to go. Joan was just goooone. She doesn't usually like drinking but she has a rather petite physique so I wasn't surprised that she was lolling around quite quickly. I then had to spend the night comforting her because she was so upset about not letting her parents see her in that sordid condition. She also requested no help from my mother because she didn't want to taint her 'good girl' reputation, I mean hey, I wouldn't either. Her younger brother was also so cute taking care of her. She was the first to throw up. In times like these I wish so terribly that we had a second toilet downstairs. There was a spewing line, if that's what you could call it. Of girls. We had to provide seats along the hallway for girls too inebriated to stand and wait for our crowded bathroom. There were girls in the lounge room lolling around their boyfriends too drunk to even slur a sentence together. It reminded me distinctly of those nineteenth century 'fainting rooms' for women who had to go in and faint because their corsets were depleting their oxygen consumption. Like Elizabeth Swan in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Tim was so smashed, I really can't find another word for it, shitfaced would suffice too. Anyway, he was so far gone he didn't even look drunk anymore. He looked stoned. Stoned to the point that Krish (his wonderful, wonderful girlfriend, he is SO lucky to have her) was very concerned that there could have been drugs at this party. (I doubt it, my parents were monitoring). But seriously, even his vanity could not revive him from his drunken stupor (We tried telling him that he was fat, and gay, but he just gave us the thumbs up). It would be hilarious had I not been so concerned. Then he threw up all over the couch. We managed to grab a bowl in time, but not in time to save the blanket, or the pillows, or his very nice shirt. We managed to clean him up all right - but guess who had to take out the towel, and the blanket and the pillows? Me! Joy! And seriously, the re-examination of my older brother's recent food choices was absolutely grotesque. I was horrified. It was without a doubt, one of the most disgusting things I had ever deigned to accomplish. On a practical note however, I seriously think Tim needs to consider chewing his food more. He passed out first. Krish stayed vigilantly by his side and rubbed his back every time he had to upchuck and made sure he had enough water. etc. She's so nurturing. Anyway, evidently Tim left early for his party.

If you are still reading this, I commend you greatly for your ability to withstand the tediousness of my random drivel.

Who else consumed my time? Oh Shivon, dear, dear Shivon. She was a hilarious drunk, but the amount of times I had to see her Smirnoff and Orange juice flow from her mouth wasn't as funny. She's such a lovely girl, but when she's inebriated she's all limbs and spew and eyeballs rolling into the back of her head. We had to permanently attach the plastic bag to her ears. She was so drunk it was inconceivable. She required three people to help her walk. I was one of them. My mum just looked around with this gravely disapproving look but mopped the floor with me all the same. Poor girl, we had to drive her home. There was other drama and controversy such as this random perverted bloke from somewhere along the street taking advantage over a drunken girl (who for some unforseeable reason) decided to meander down our street alone. And drunk. Don't worry, it wasn't THAT bad but I saw the definite potential for it to become worse.

At the moment, there's about ten guys crashing in my living room, I would say sleeping, but crashing seems much more appropriate for their actions. Two of which, I am quite sure are eating cereal and I'm supervising them! Wow, I feel so mature. My mum was going to do this night vigil until they all fell asleep, but I could tell she was absolutely exhausted. So being the lovely daughter I am, I drank heaps of Coke (for the caffeine of course) and told her that I'd take over, watch over the drunkards in our living room for the night. I'm also keeping a night watch over Tim, he's spewing quite a lot and I'm really concerned. I mean hey, the first drummer of ACDC died because he choked on his own vomit. Stupid way to die, really. Idiotic. So here I am at 5:29am, I haven't slept a wink, and I'm blogging, wow, lol - random. I'm wondering about what I could do to pass the time and I should probably start on studying for English. The one subject I needed most time for, and I'm blowing it off jeez deeh, nice...nice. Well that seems like a very 'Dana' thing to do. When one is bored, study. LOL but I had better, I need to have King Lear read and analysed, like - now. Like I was meant to do it over the summer holidays, like I AM SO BEHIND!

I also need to write up the next newsletter and have it printed. Shit. Why do I take on so many extra curricular activities? I have barely started on Modern (can't think of that now) and I have History Debating to consider. I'm getting myself stressed out. I have English and English extension to do - I'll do that. Oh and my Japanese speech. Ah, shit - that too. I have spare time now, I'd better hop to it. But I feel like writing, I've finally finished and am relatively happy with my 7005 word Chapter one, and I'm currently on my second or third paragraph into Chapter Two. My dreams of becoming a novelist must wait, I guess... I'll read up on King Lear, or do Modern or something... I don't know.

I'm rambling now, and if you are reading it, wow. Just wow. You have an attention span beyond even mine. I had better check on the boys downstairs.

See you when I see you.
Until next time -

- deeh xox

Expeditions.

Went to the city with my lovely mummy.

Yeah she showed me the way and everything, but then I had to venture off by myself.

THAT DAMN STATE LIBRARY AND ITS BLOODY REGULATIONS AND SYSTEMS AND RULES AND THE NEED FOR AN ID!

I shall say no more.

BUT OMG MUM! COULD YOU BE LESS EMBARASSING! I can't believe she told him! SHE TOLD HIM! GAWD SHE EMBRASSED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!

Oh and that richfgt. Jeez. Replies WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT!!! HONESTLY.

THROWS ME INTO A SPIN! I can't freaking write anymore, gaahhh.

Can't say more, don't have time but MY FIRST CHAPTER IS FINISHED!!!!!

Editing ensues!

Until next time my loves,

- deeh xox =D

Drowning *ahem* DRIVING Lessons

Tim gave me my first unofficial driving lesson.

He let me drive up our street and turn into the driveway. It was....hmmm... HILARIOUS! I couldn't stop laughing! Yeah, I was drowning in my tears of laughter. Tim was so scared.

"Ok - break, you can step on the accelerator now... a little harder, a little harder....BREAK!!!" WHIPLASH! ROFLMAO.

I cracked up so hard, some of his instructions were so uproariously funny.

"Okay, now press the accelerator. Gently, ok, gently - gently yeah? Dont fucken floor it, alright?"

LOOOOOOL!!!!!

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

On to other things, OMG YEAH. HE'S BEEN TO JAPAN. WHY? WHY? WHY?!!!

WHY DOES EVERYONE GET TO LIVE MY DREAMS - BUT ME!

But omg, if he studies Nihongo....omg... die.

But I must go, must go - study awaits!

I want to write.

Until next time -

- deeh xox

P.S So far, Lo, dyz, jelly, jess, lana and misha are coming to my party! Can't wait for more!

Holidays have a arrived!

YAY!

LOL I've become a myspace-r.

And dyz is loving it.

Damn you. I was getting excited about you losing Liebe. That would be very funny, and in all honesty, I wouldn't mind losing it. *shrug* But to the right person of course lol.

Which probably won't happen, because I only want to be his friend. (Yeah, keep telling yourself that deeh.) K. For now.

6 DAYS UNTIL I AM 16 Ye-uh!

OMG. None of you will get this but I do, and I just have to squeal it out. He's soooooOOOOOO cuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!! GAH!!!! LOL.
o(>__________<)"o

Nya. I'll shut up now. Just shut UP DEEH!

Just his friend, just his friend.

Argghhh like a pirate.

I must go and reap the benefits of freshly discovered, holiday freedom =D

Until next time-

- deeh xox

P.S Kareshi wa mecha mecha kawaii!!!

EW.

I can't believe that I just did that... that... "sigh" thing. You know, that cliche sigh that apparently all adolescent girls with a crush do?

EW.

EW. I've just been placed in that category. Oh dear GOD.

Damn him. Why did he have to be so perfect?

Anyone Know the best way to kill yourself?

I should probably just get over myself and get fucked.

Can't I just walk on to reservoir road tomorrow morning and lame out there and die?

Stuff it. If there's any control I can have over my life, it's the way in which I die.

Like you said dyanne, I have completely no control over my destiny.

I think that this is the one thing that I can control.

LOL. How typical, typical, typical deeh.

YOU FUCKING CONTROL FREAK.

I'm just going to go fucking die now.

I'm not going to do it myself, is it only because I fear God?

Probably.

Wow, I'm more pitiful than I thought.

Just making a random observation

Hmmm, watching blood dry is such an interesting thing. Gotta wait for it to congeal and scab or else my mum might be suspicious at marks on my clothing....

wow. It's like an old unwanted friend. Someone you need, yet loathe at the same time. Okay, maybe uneasy allies, not friends. I'm not friends with the utensils I use, I hate them. But in times like these, I need them.

Tuesdays are for crying.

And now I see myself at 13 once again with the same thoughts.

I promised myself that I'd never do it again but those scissors in my pencil case are looking mighty friendly right now.

Hopeless, despondent, defeated.

The same thoughts.

Will I do it again? Hm. I'm defeated now. You've won. You hear that, cynics of the world? YOU'VE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm tired.

And empty. I feel as though this has been the final nail that has split me in two.

Will I do it again? I keep my promises for dignity and integrity, but do I have that anymore? Will I lose all hope for love? as misha has? I would lose all self respect that I have for myself if I do.

WOW. I think I'm losing myself respect. Am I that defeated? Maybe, yes? wow, you've guys have sure done a number on me now, you've won. You've really won, I never thought that I'd see the day where I'd look into the mirror and find myself at 13 once again, but I do now. And you know what, why not?

I'll do it again, if it gets me off this mood and into my work I will.

I live for work now. Nothing else.

Nothing.

I'm alone now. Again.

And this is the last time love will ever blind me.

Dana's gone now. And that hurts. Hurts to know that because of love I ruined that perfect day, hurts to know that because of love I was too worried and lost sleep and couldn't work at all, hurts to know that all my concern and worry was for nothing. Was at my expense. And now the essay that I should have done yesterday is something I have to do now.

Last Tuesday I found out that I was betrayed, and therefore humiliated.

This Tuesday I'm humiliated and defeated.

Ooooh I wonder what next Tuesday will bring? More humiliation? Betrayal? Death?

I look forward to it.

HEY! I'M STUPID IDIOTIC, GULLIBLE PERSON, ATTACK ME! ATTACK ME! LEAVE ME ON THE FLOOR TO DIE! KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN! DO AS MY MUM DID! ACCORDING TO HER MY GULLIBILITY THEREFORE GIVES EVERYONE LICENSE TO TREAT ME AS A NOVELTY! GO AHEAD! I LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

If my defeat gives you pleasure, then that's wonderful, at least some fucking good comes out of this.

And I don't blame anyone but myself.

This is all my fault. I brought my own demise. I guess that my hopes were too big for this world.

I've lost my dream, drive, ambition. I'm lost now. I've lost now. You've won, cynics. You've won.

Come, next Tuesday I'm available for habitual humiliation. Come one, come all, want to see me cry? Book an appointment for next Tuesday and watch my demise.

Because everything, everything now is all my fault. Intelligent girl, no common sense. I hurt so many people because I was hurt, and that's my fault. I should have seen the signs, BUT NOOOOOO I was too optimistic, too hopeful and now. I am nothing.

If there ever will be a next time - (If I haven't jumped off the balcony by then, and rid the world of my gloomy evil)

- Nothing. deeh, doesn't really exist anymore.

xox