Restart

I've decided to create a new blog, because the old one, was just old, useless and a waste of precious internet (if there ever could be such a thing). It's not my intention to appear querulous or full of complaint but, this year is becoming ridiculously occupied with subjects. I don't have lunch times anymore, the teachers have cancelled my sport in order for me to do research for numerous projects and because of my complete lack of slef-discipline and horridly addictive habit to procrastinate, I sleep late because things happen at the last minute despite the fact that I am an organised person.

It's tiring, I have now cut myself off from all my online, global relationships that I had meticulously cultivated over the holiday break and now, even simply blogging is a task I must set aside time for. But aside from fanfiction (which no one really reads anyway) this is my only creative outlet and form of expression, and perhaps some kind of recognition. So I am in dire need of it since I quit dance for academic purposes as well. Why must the workload of the accelerated students be so demanding? Why must I challenge a ridiculously intelligent team for History Debating? Rumour has it that I'm debating the other school's top team, and they're a bloody selective school which just makes that even more disasterrific. I've never debated, or even watched a debate in the entirety of my life, and now suddenly I'm up against one of the top two schools in the STATE? Why did I become involved in this? ... Vanity perhaps. I'd really like to say that I had a contribution to the school through this, it would make a bloody brilliant resume (especially with my high marks and accelerated classes), and just simply reiterating the fact that you're in debating is a pride within itself. People don't mess with you after that.

I need to find some writing competition ocurring in my local area, since I didn't win the latest one. I was confident that I could win, and everyone had expected me to win. It makes me blank out and go emo everytime I think about it and how I messed up everyone's expectations. I swallowed my pride and marched up to the Library myself and read with my own two eyes, (not to mention my appearance was nothing short of crestfallen) that some guy who was a year older than me won it. So here I am, rewardless, lacking in confidence and still somehow managing to live without a competently functional mp3 player. I need my music! >__< another teenage emotional outcry against the societal status quo, because apparently the world sucks. Oh please, that plotline is extremely exhausted and worn out. We all know being a teenager sucks because conformity is one major issue (heck I'm a teenager myself) but there are things out there that are better to write. Call me an optimist who has a knack for repeating cliche phrases but the world isn't bloody black and white. It has shades of grey. It's complicated, it's a complex tapestry where each thread intricately intertwines with another. People aren't either good or bad. It just doesn't work that way.

It's annoying how sometimes I feel like creativity is being squeezed out of society and writing has taken a new turn. I wrote a historical narative about one of the world's most diabolical events in history where hysteria had wholly consumed a town. I'd expect that to at least recieve a second placing or somehting. I didn't even get the lucky draw prize!!

Blame it on the PMS.
I need to go and refocus on my tasks before I return to sleep. School beckons, as always...