Feminism

I am not a conquest!

Oooft. Lana will be disappointed. Ah well. I'm consumed by this overhwleming sense of righteous indignation. I feel so very feminist right now. What I don't understand is why guys have to show off to each other. Pretentious gits. I don't see how endeavouring on the most conquests, and perceiving women as conquests is considered to be 'cool' in their social hierarchy. It's NOT HOT.

So what happened is, is that I was very straightforward about it. I am actually surprised, and am really marveling at my audacity and alacrity to jump straight into the situation. I sat with him and initiated the conversation straight up. Sure it was awkward, sure it was uncomfortable and sure I didn't want to do it but it was necessary. I know that the 'me' of last year would never have done it. So I'm quite proud of myself for doing that straight up. I'm saying straight up a lot. I should stop.

I was a littled miffed at first but now that I've had time to think about it and calm down I've come to realise that the male teenage mind is an intriguing dichotomy. On one hand you have how they are when they are with girls, and on the contrary you have how they are when they're with just the guys. We had a civil conversation and I'm glad the he's appropriate enough with a respectable sense of propriety to respect me for the way I handled the situation. The feeling is mutual though, I still respect the guy. Thank you, I didn't think I handled that with the best of my ability so yeah, it's good it turned out well though. I'm not as pissed as before. We came to a mutual understanding that it was a random hook up that didn't mean anything.

ROFLMAO. Random. Hook up.

THIS IS SO UN-DEEH. Who would have ever thought that the studious, nerdy, sheltered deeh would involve herself with a random hook up. IT'S UNHEARD OF. IT'S INCONGRUOUS, YOU DON'T HAVE MY NAME AND 'RANDOM HOOK UP' IN THE SAME SENTENCE! WOW it's like some bizarre adolescent right of passage. Bizarre. It was nice while it lasted though. What I don't understand is why he had to be all, smug about it later with the guys when I wasn't there. I wouldn't say behind my back because that is just bitchy but honestly, guys! Come on, get it through your heads. Girls don't like playas, its not a desirable trait. You call yourself a player, ok thank you dear brother for your honesty - but ok that just makes me feel like some meaningless conquest.

I AM NOT A CONQUEST.

I know I have potential, I know I am a person, a woman who deserves to be treated like an individual. I will not be considered as a prize. I ain't gonna be played, honey. OH EW! 'ain't' I used the word 'ain't' Oh yuck! Illiteracy, illiteracy, I'm turning illiterate! No. Ok. Just calm down deeh. Well, I'm getting all glammed up for the formal, I think I'll look pretty good. So I'll make sure he sees a picture because I actually considered taking him! Just so he can see what he's missing out on! You just let your jaw drop, honey.

Ah my apologies. I'm PMS-ing. I respect him. I'm not mad at him... surprisingly. Just miffed. I'll be over it by tomorrow. To be honest, I didn't get my hopes up. I actually expected this. So it isn't so bad. To think I felt GUILTY for still harbouring feelings for the Asian Adonis. (Grey cardigan, glasses, bookstore... oh gosh that fantasy Dyanne). HERESY. Omg he's so pretty...

RETURNING TO THE MATTER AT HAND.

He saw an opportunity and he took it, can't blame him for that I guess. It's actually somewhat flattering that I can actually be NOTICED by the opposite sex. Well, in the words of my wonderful Lorraine, if he can't see what's in front of him (If he asked me out I would actually have said yes)then it sucks to be him. HE'S missing out. I'll be content with that. It was nice while it lasted, and now it's gone. Oh well. MEH. Every 16 year old male thinks that all the ladies want him. We have to accomodate for that lapse in judgment I suppose.

On a happier note I MANAGED TO SOMEWHAT INSULT GRUMBLE TODAY!!! YAAAAY! Egotistical Arse. I told him in regards to his quip about coffee, "Unlike you I don't need to stunt my growth" I'm rather proud of myself for producing that on the spot. I should really practice this witty sarcasm business. He's the perfect one to do it with.


There's various positive things that have come from my experiences today. I can study for school cert without any distraction!!! WOOO! I can study in peace!! YAY! PEACE OF MIND! YAY!

I don't like being considered as a Random 'romp' though. I'm the type of girl that wants, you know, all or nothing. Kind of makes me feel cheap. That's a horrible thought though. The day I become an undignified harlot, is the day I become cheap. Which will never happen. Forgive me if I sound self-righteous right now but its better than wallowing in ridiculous self-pity.

Girls experience their period which makes them susceptible to idiocy only about one week every month. Guys have an extra appendage which makes them susceptible to idiocy and juvenile immaturity for 24 hours, 7 days a week and 52 weeks of the year.

There. I am justified. Time to sleep and improve my health for school cert week.